Vindictive | Chapter 16

The moment Thresh uttered those words, I feel cold all of a sudden. Like, seriously cold. Not the cold of fall or early spring, or even the cold we usually know in winter, but a deep, bone-chilling cold. It’s at least close to a hundred degrees today and I feel cold. Those words scare the hell out of me. I don’t know whether to tell Clove the whole truth or come up with a white lie just to escape this suspenseful situation.

“What?” Clove asks me.

I take a quick glance at Richard and he puckers his lips in Clove's direction, as if suggesting telling her the truth.

“I—uh…”

“Cato?” Clove says. “Do—do you know where my dad is?”

I keep on racking my brain for anything to say but the intensity of the situation is just too much for me to handle that nothing sensible is coming to me. Maybe Thresh is right. Perhaps it’s finally time to let this poor girl know about her father’s mischief.

“Clove,” I breathe out a heavy sigh. “I know why your father is never home. I know exactly where he is right now.”

Her eyes start to form tears and at that moment, all I want to do is to shut myself up and take her tiny frame in my arms. I hate seeing Clove  this way that’s why every time she’s down; I always try my best to cheer her up. Hence the day we spent at the carnival.

I look at Thresh and then at the rest of my team and they are all wearing the same expression. I feel like I’m being pressured to do this confession when all I want is to do the opposite. I want to lie to Clove so bad and let her be oblivious to all of this but I can’t. I know it’s time.

“Your father is…” I trail off, looking at her with reassuring eyes. “He’s in prison. He was arrested for numerous crimes. One of them is for murdering my parents.”

Clove's face suddenly becomes blank. Her worried expression drops into something unreadable, undecipherable. I don’t know whether if she’s still at the state of shock or she’s already moved on from it and decided not to show any emotion. Whatever it may be that’s keeping her silent, it needs to stop because I want to get a reaction from her. Even a single twitch of her eye will satisfy me.

“Clove…” I grab her arm. I mentally smile to myself when she didn’t try to push me away. “Please say something.”

She shakes her head but she still doesn’t say anything. Well, at least I got one reaction from her. She opens her mouth finally having something to say, when our group of friends comes running towards us. I thought they already left. I guess Marvel and Peeta didn’t listen to me after all.

“Cato!” Madge calls. “What the hell happened? Marvel and Peeta came running to us saying two men were attacking you. Are you okay?” She pants as she keeps on inspecting if something happened to me.

I nod at her with a smile trying to ease her wariness. “I’m fine, nothing bad happened. I got my family to protect me.” I hook my thumb over my shoulder gesturing at my team.

“I thought you said you didn’t have any siblings?” Annie inquires.

“I don’t. Thresh took me in when I was living in the streets and I guess he just became the brother I never had.” I open up, though I don’t know why I suddenly had the urge to say those hidden things about me.

So I guess that’s what started the little chat that happened between the two parties. Clove and I of course have our own sweet cuddly world (I trying to comfort her); Finnick and Madge are seated at one of the benches, conversing; Fox left to get rid of our captives and the rest are in a group, talking about whatever their topic is. I catch sight of Katniss and Thresh giving Clove and I a watchful glance and I snarl at them in return.

I pass my arm around Clove's shoulders and she smiles poorly at my gesture. I return it but it feels like it’s forced. For the past few weeks, being with Clove suddenly became hard. Not that she’s a bad girlfriend. She’s amazing, really, but somehow I can’t give up on this task. I can’t give up from avenging just because I’m in love. I know what I’m doing is wrong but I just can’t see the light, the light that will make me see what is the better choice, a better decision.

The only thing that’s keeping me forward is the fact that Brutus is back on the loose and there’s a high possibility that Finnick will allow me to keep Clove out of this. We need to take a huge leap to battling Brutus. I feel that we don’t need to take baby steps anymore, we can just straight up face the syndicate.

And that’s exactly what I suggest once we all load the van.

* * *

We are all gathered in the living room waiting for the meeting to start. Finnick has labeled this as an emergency meeting but I don’t exactly know what this one will be about. The day when two of assumed Brutus's men attacked me, we kind of already had a discussion inside the van.

My eyebrows meet as my head tilts to the side in confusion when I notice that the whole team is already here including Johanna and yet, it’s not starting.

“Are we waiting for something or someone?” I curiously ask.

“Let’s get this ‘emergency’ meeting started!” All of a sudden, Thresh comes walking in the living room with a plate full of salted crackers and claims the empty space on my left.

For a moment, this puzzles me because I thought Thresh quitted the team because of me having feelings for Clove. I thought he was only there to back me up that day in my group’s hangout spot because he felt the need to. It didn’t once cross my mind that maybe he decided to rejoin the team.

“Thresh?” I say. “Wh-what are you doing here?”

He wraps an arm around my shoulders and his smile grows wider. “What? Is it illegal now to rejoin something I gave up on? Last time I checked—”

“No. I mean, that’s totally fine with me but…what made you change your mind?”

Thresh shrugs while his lower lip sticks out. “I realized that I was being over dramatic about this and I approached the situation in a very childlike manner. I know I should’ve given you a chance to explain yourself or why you’re doing that but I didn’t. And I think you deserve – I mean I deserve a second shot.”

I smile at him, squeezing his shoulder the way we usually do when we’re trying to reassure the other. “You do, Thresh. You really do.”

“And I also know that Johanna is part of the team,” Thresh states and I look at him with utter surprise. He raises his hands up. “What? It was kind of obvious. I noticed you without the tag and then boom! The next day you’re wearing one and Johanna suddenly made her appearance saying she replicates for a living. It didn’t take me a long time to put two and two together.”

He ruffles my hair before turning to Finnick and telling him to officially start the meeting. Seeing as he’s not the head of the team anymore, he can’t no longer formally open this assembly and any other upcoming ones.

“Okay…I have a proposal for all of you,” Finnick starts, his voice low and serious. “As you might have seen, I was talking to Madge the other day. You might think I was flirting or anything but the thing is she’s clever and strategic—”

“Wait, wait, wait,” I interrupt having figured out what this is all about. “We are not involving the rest of my friends here. My offer to not include Clove in this plan has not been approved yet and now you’re saying that Madge might be useful?”

“She’s the mayor’s daughter, Madge.” Finnick counters.

“I know that, but I’m not aware of how she can be a great help.” I say.

“Cato, take note that she is the mayor’s daughter. If we get her on our side, she’ll inform her father about this. Best part is that we get more people to back us up when we go against Brutus. Not to mention, we only have a week left before the deadline and we haven’t even made any progress yet!” Finnick explains, rising to his feet to walk around the room.

I can’t believe Finnick is actually considering adding another member of the team. In my opinion and I think Thresh is with me on this, we already have an acceptable number of people working on this plan. We have Finnick, Rue, Johanna, Fox and I. Now Thresh is back on. That’s six of us already! I’m pretty sure we don’t need a seventh member. I know that we may never stand a chance against Brutus but with our own unique skills, we can outfox the syndicate and his dumb men.

“Yes, we are!” I shout at him, getting on my feet as well. I notice from the corner of my eye Thresh standing up to calm me down. My temper is something you may not want to clash into. When I get mad, I’m worse than Marvel turning into Hulk. “What do you think I’m doing now, huh? I’m sacrificing my own relationship with Clove! I’m trying to keep her as close as possible to use her as bait when clearly, I don’t want to anymore! I just want a carefree relationship and it’s not happening because every time I’m with her, I’m constantly being reminded why I was there in the first place!”

Finnick is about to say something when I cut him off because I still have some feelings left bottled up inside. I just want to let them all out.

“Oh wait, do I also have to remind you about the weapons Rue and I stole at Glimmer's house? The police are still hot on my tail trying to prove their speculations that I was the one who murdered the girl!” I scream at him. “Isn’t that enough progress for you?”

“Cato…” With his voice and expression softening, Finnick walks closer to me. He knows that Glimmer's murder is a sensitive topic for me and every time any one of us mentions it, we both know we’re going too far with our argument.

I take a step back, never wanting to get any closer to him at the moment. All I want is some time alone to calm myself down. I need some space to think.

“Carry on without me,” I mutter as I storm out of the living room. I hear footsteps behind me in a matter of seconds. “Don’t follow me please. I need to be alone.”

* * *

I open the door to the stairs that leads to Thresh's rooftop. Rue's birthday party is on full blast down at the backyard and I watch the whole scene up at my spot.

There are three things I’m currently feeling right at this moment. First is that I’m proud of Rue and what she’s done in the past month she spent with us. I’m proud because even though she’s just starting her teenage years, she handled all the hardships and problems being thrown out to her. She handled it with such maturity that not even I or Thresh can’t do sometimes. We tend to overreact or be such drama kings about it.

Second, I’m happy that Rue and I built a great relationship. I remember Thresh doubting the idea that she and I will get along. Well, we did. I think we actually spent more time with each other rather than I spending time with Thresh and she the same. There were moments were we felt like we are the real siblings and not her and Thresh. The house had a very energetic and homey vibe when she’s around. I will definitely miss that when she comes back to live with her parents back in District 11.

Lastly, as I watch Clove interacting and socializing with Rue's party guests, I can’t help but feel guilty. Of course, the guilt that I acquired when I killed Glimmer is still pretty much there. I don’t even think it will ever leave until someone claimed justice. I know with the way Clove's been acting lately that the fact that her father has done something tragically to my family has been killing her inside slowly. It’s a slow and painful death for her. Her eyes tell me she wants to do something about it, but I can’t tell her that there’s nothing she can do. No matter how hard she tries, whether she walks on broken glass barefoot or swim all the oceans, nothing will change the fact that my parents are dead because of her father. None of that will bring my parents back from the dead.

If we continue using her as bait, and if we do succeed with luring Brutus towards us, I don’t think I’ll ever have the courage to inform Clove about it. I know I have an option where I can hide this from her forever but I can’t ignore the fact that Katniss is still there, surveying me 24/7. She’s almost acting like Lawrence, always watching me trying to find evidence that I’m Glimmer's murderer.

As I look on to the party, my eyes absently notice Finnick and Madge on the corner where there are fewer guests. Finnick looks all so serious while Madge listens intently. I may be up high from them but I can see all their emotions and I can almost feel the seriousness and intensity of their conversation.

I don’t need to ask anyone what Finnick and Madge are talking about because I already know the second I see them together what exactly they’re discussing.

Eager to go back to the party, I scurry to the stairs.

* * *

Thresh catches me running down the stairs and when he sees my worried expression, he immediately knows why. He’s never really agreed on recruiting Madge to the group so I know for a fact that he’s on my side. He leads me to his office where I find Fox sitting behind Threshs' desk and typing away in his computer.

“What’s happening here?” I question as Fox's eyes land on mine. She gives me this look that I can’t quite comprehend the meaning. I don’t know whether it’s pity or wariness.

“Finnick is talking to Madge as we speak. I stuck a mini microphone in his shirt and Fox is trying to get an excellent signal for us to hear what he’s saying.” Thresh explains to me. “He is really determined to get Madge on this team.”

“I have a feeling there’s another reason behind why he wants her on this.” I say. "Have you seen the way he was looking at Annie that day at the park? He may only be using Madge to get closer to Annie as those two seem to be the best of friends."

“Bingo!” Fox exclaims after hitting the enter button with a triumphant smile. “We got him now.”

I hurry to Thresh's desk and grab the only headphones available. I put it on and Madge's voice is the first thing I hear.

“What do you mean?” She asks.

“Since your father is the mayor, you can convince him to help us go against the syndicate.” Finnick explains.

“Why won’t you just go straight up to the police?”

“It’s very complicated and I’m sure Cato wouldn’t be comfortable if I tell you the whole reason why. Besides, it’s not my story to tell.” Finnick answers.

“Wait. So Cato is involved in this too?” Madge questions.

I glance at Thresh and he notices my reactions to the two’s conversation. He motions for me to take the headphones off before turning to Fox to gesture her to turn the speaker on.

“Yeah, he is. He’s always been from the start.” Finnick says.

“I—I don’t know, Finnick. I’m not sure about this.”

“Please Madge, Cato needs help.” He begs.

“Let me think about it.”

With that statement, the conversation ends.

Fox hits something on the keyboard and our connection goes off. My two teammates look at me as if they’re waiting for some kind of reaction from me. I only stand there, unmoving without even uttering a single syllable. I’m not even aware that my hands are balled into fists in pure frustration. Finnick can be hardheaded at times but he apparently doesn’t know that he’s barking on the wrong tree today.

I throw the headphones on the desk before storming out of the room, Thresh trailing behind me, ready to hold me back if ever I try to make a scene.

Sliding the doors open to the backyard, my eyes find Finnick in an instant. Clove comes out of nowhere and hugs me with a huge grin even before I can attack Finnick.

“Cato!” She says. “I’m sorry I’m late. I don’t know what to get Rue so I spent a lot of time in the store and I lost track—”

“Clove,” I intervene. “It’s okay. I believe I told you last week that you don’t have to get her anything. Rue isn’t exactly the biggest fan of presents.”

“Still. I want to get her something.” Clove defends causing for a smile to creep up on my lips. My mission to get Finnick has been forgotten. She’s just that powerful when it comes to me.

“Come here.” I order as I urge her to give me a hug.

Clove wraps her tiny arms around me. The warmth she’s sending off to me is enough to soothe my worries at the moment. When she rubs my back, I feel more relaxed. The stress and pressure I have on me now is fleeting. And when we pull away, her hands now surround my neck as she stand on her tiptoes to press her lips on mine.

The kiss doesn’t last that long since there are kids around. We remain in our spot, just talking about how we’re going to spend our summer vacation, about our friends and how we’re going to make our relationship work now that we’re off to college. All the while we’re both trying to avoid the topic about me knowing her father’s whereabouts.

Clove is currently gushing about her newly acquired scholarship when we decide to take the empty chairs by the corner of the backyard, the spot that Finnick and Madge left a while ago. I’m really proud of my girlfriend and all of her achievements. Even though she’s attending college abroad, I’m still happy that she’s living the life she wants, the life she dreams of herself having. I know she’ll be an excellent student and she can live on her own because she’s a very independent girl. Sometimes, she even tells me that I don’t always have to be by her side protecting her and watching out for her.

I’m confident that I don’t have anything to worry about when she’s away for college.

Cato.

Suddenly, I hear a faint whisper a few feet away from me. I am a hundred percent sure it isn’t Clove because she’s still rambling about how excited she is to meet new friends and coping in a new environment. I try to focus on what she’s saying because I want her to know that I’m a good listener, but that ghostly voice is overpowering even Rue's loud music.

Cato, look at me.

I glance around and I see no one. I don’t see anyone looking at me, pleading with their eyes to come with them. I don’t see anyone gesturing for me to look at him or her. No one, and it confuses me entirely.

I’m over here. Look closer.

As if on cue, in the corner of my eye, I see an outline of a person – a female – running towards the side of Thresh's house where the wooden gate that leads to the backyard is located. I really want to follow that figure but I just can’t leave Clove here in mid-sentence.

“Clove,” I say, interrupting her. “I’ll be right back, okay? I just need to check on something.”

“Okay. I’ll be right here.” She tells me in response and I feel relief wash over me when I see her smiling.

Nodding, I sprint towards the direction where I see the figure. I round the corner and I stop in my tracks. No one is there. The door is still locked and there’s no way that girl could’ve climbed over the gate. Fear crawls up my back as I slowly back away.

Cato.

I hear myself gasping when the wooden gate suddenly shakes violently. It’s happening again. My hallucinations are coming back to haunt me once more. Just the thought of seeing that awful man again makes me want to run away and lock myself in my room forever. I turn to my heels to escape when I hear that ghostly female voice, but this time it’s clearer. I freeze from recognition.

I turn around to face the gate and slowly push it open with doubtful hands. Poking my head through the small gap I made, I see the same female outline standing in the corner, urging for me to come. The wider the gate opens, the more I see who she is.

“Mom.” I whisper.

I see her vaguely smile that causes for me to return it. She extends her arm to reach out to me and I spontaneously grab her hand and hold it gently on mine. It’s not exactly as gentle but firm as if I don’t want her to drift away. Her figure is moving in sync with the wind. It’s like she’s a part of it. When the wind is blowing weakly, her figure is too. When it blows hard, that’s when I hold on tight, afraid that the wind will take her away from me.

Clove, she says.

“Mom, you told me that when I saw you at the bar a month ago.” I reply.

Clove, she repeats.

“Mom, I don’t understand you. What is it about her?”

Keep her close…danger.

“Clove? In danger?”

Keep her safe.

Just like that, her ghostly figure mixes in with the wind. She drifts away from me and I’m left holding nothing in my hands and my brain in chaos trying to come up with different explanations for what my mom had told me.

One thing is for sure though. Clove is in danger, but why?